Thursday, January 22, 2009


My! This certainly has been the week for interviews, hasn't it? I was thinking that I should just devote my whole blog from here on out to answering questions, what do you think?

So Pumpkin Delight's foreign affairs representative (ie her e-mail) travelled over a very large ocean, a very dry contintent and a very expansive gap in timezones so we could hang out by the pool, drink cocktails and have a good old fashioned chin wag...

My Stenographer is a sucker for a cocktail and stuck around to record everything that was said.

Pumpkin Delight: So tell me how and why did you move to Australia?

Hula Hank: I am in the Witness Protection Program.

PD: (blank stare)

HH: Really what happened was I was in a relationship with an Australian who had lived in the US most of his life, but was feeling the strong desire to move back home.

Eventually he took a position here and because of Australia allowing for immigration of "inter-dependant partners", I tagged along.

I was happily living in Chicago where we met and was devasted to find out that he lived in Milwaukee. I had no idea where the fuck that was, to find out that it was only about one and half hours drive or train ride north of Chicago.

He worked at a high level in a very specialised field which did not allow him to move from Milwaukee, so after a alternating weeks... he came down, I went up... I made the decision to leave Chicago for colder pastures.

Milwaukee is boring frozen tundra wasteland of deep fried cheese curds and bad beer. The highlight of fashion was attending the yearly Holiday Sweater Show, so as you can see, I fit right in. LOL

I become horribly depressed and the thought of escaping the town dominated by thoughts. By the end of my time there, he could have told me that he accepted a job in Timbuktu and I would have packed my bags that night.

At the same time, America had a year under the Bush regime and had began to make a great shift towards uber-christianity, war and divisive politics. It was no longer a country that accepted me or that I felt safe in.

I didn't feel threatened by terrorism, I felt threatended that I was no longer part of a country that included me in its politics and where I was no longer allowed to speak my opinion of the government or continue my birthright of the pursuit of happiness, because my happiness did not fit in nicely with one man's interpretation of Bible.

Of course, when I moved away from America, I was greeted by a world of anti-American hostility and frustration. It was almost as if I was single handedly been responsible for electing Bush and going to war.

Seven years later, it only got worse. Now the world is broke, people are losing their jobs and their homes and it is all America's fault. The difficult part is that I wished I didn't agree with them.

Now Pumpkin, I am going to admit something to you that even Stuart does not know.

When I watched the Inauguration of Barack Obama, I cried.

The next night when I watched the recap of his speech on the 10 o'clock news, and the world's reaction to his election, I cried even more.

After seven years, in one afternoon, the hostility has lifted. My country is no longer the World's embarrasment, it is now the World's hope.

For the first time in a very long time, My country is inspired, and in turn has inspired the world.

Pumpkin, honey, wake up.
More to come...

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