Thursday, July 31, 2008

Test Tube Tryout [working title of show]

I have two loves in my life, 1. Musicals and 2. Food (if you are reading this honey, I love you too). Recently I have been thinking that I should really focus this blog on musicals, and do as La Marilyn suggests: "Specialize".

Fuck it.

Gentle reader, as you know, like my life this blog has no direction. Why should it? It's a blog, not a Fortune 500 corporation.

Now I am officially introducing my love of food with "TEST TUBE TRYOUT" (I am still working on the name). During Test Tube, I will experiment with making food found in restaurants and create new recipes.

So you can play along, I am planning for Test Tube to appear on Thursdays (fortnightly for now), giving you plenty of time to go food shopping and tryout the recipe on Saturday.

And take photos!!!

Tuesdays with Tony

I have decided to to have a new theme day: Tuesdays with Tony!

No, it is not a weekly advice column with some guido (although THAT sounds more interesting) it is a day where I present a YouTube video of a musical performance from one of the Tony Award shows.

This past Tuesday, I attempted to post "My New Philosophy" from You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown but for some reason, it never appeared on the blog. I don't know what happened with that one! Alien abduction?

So starting this upcoming Tuesday, put on your tuxedos and evening gowns, grab a martini and enjoy a poorly transferred YouTube video of an old awards show catured from a video tape!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Musical Monday

First let me say that this post is inspired by a post written SarahB over at Adventures in the Endless Pursuit of Entertainment.

In this particular post about the 1979 movie version of Hair, she states that for 48 seconds during the song 3-5-0-0 there is an asian woman singing on screen, but this in fact Betty Buckley. This is a fact which I did not know, but now I do and I feel like a better human for knowing it.

Anyhow, SarahB's post got me to thinking about how much I love the musical Hair. I have seen it on stage twice and the movie version hundreds of time. I own the soundtrack on vinyl, cassette tape, CD & MP3.

If I was to produce/direct/star (a la Barbra Striesand) any musical I would star as Claude in Hair. He has the coolest songs, plus he has a dramatic death scene at the end, climaxing in a poignant screaming/singing "That's me!" as he fades into non-existance. Don't you just love that?

So the above YouTube video stars (eventually) my inner diva, Nell Carter. Hold out for 3:05 - 3:10 because it is those five seconds that I play on repeat. Pathetic? Yes. But we all wish we had that much sass-n-brass.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Fabulous Friday!

It is Friday and it is FABULOUS!

Here's why.

After about a week of procrastination, I have just officially obtained tickets to 9 to 5: The Musical! Front and centre of the mezzanine. So if you will also be at the theatre on Saturday the 27th of September, stop by and say "Hello."

Since we are travelling over 14,000 miles to be there, we may be a little thirsty so it wouldn't hurt to buy us a drink.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Unusual Keywords

Every now and then, I like to go into my blog’s stats tracker and see what people are typing into their search engine when they find this site.

Sometimes the searches make sense (“life should be a musical”) and others are very out of the ordinary (“black woman pancake film”). I sometimes wonder what the people who have searched for “black woman pancake film” were hoping to find and if anything on this site helped these gentle readers (yes, readers with an ‘S’! More than one person has done the aforementioned search) with the answer they sought.

I am also puzzled as to why anyone would want to see a pancake film. What is a pancake film?

In addition to “black woman pancake film”, I get several other regular search engine keywords that have brought people to this site.

“GAY RAILROAD WORKERS” – This has to be one of the most popular searches, as it never fails to get a mention at least every 2 or 3 days. Is there a fascination with railroad workers being gay? Is this some sort of fantasy? If you were brought to this site after searching for “gay railroad workers” please leave me a message and let me know what it is you seek!!!

The second most popular search?

“ANGELA LANSBURY’S BICYCLE” – What the…? I did once mention Angela Lansbury riding a bicycle in the opening credits of Murder, She Wrote… but how is it that many people are sitting there one day and make the decision to look up information on Angela Lansbury’s bicycle???

Again, if you have come to this blog after doing a search for “angela lansbury’s bicycle” I beg of you to leave a message and let me know what it is that you specifically want to know about Ms Lansbury’s bicycle.

I am dying of curiosity.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Musical Monday

I have been hearing about the creation of 9 to 5: The Musical for quite some time now. With music being specially written for the musical by Dolly Parton ("Backwoods Barbie" being the lead song) how could this possibly go wrong!

Just this morning, I was officially informed that the previews for 9 to 5: The Musical will be taking place in LA. Why would someone who lives on the bottom side of the globe care about that? Because it just so happens 9 to 5: The Musical is previewing at the exact time I will be in LA! This small miracle makes me believe that I was destined to see 9 to 5:The Muscial.

This miracle may make up for the fact when I was in London, and had the opportunity to see the opening of "Mamma Mia!" but refused. My pedestrian critique: "I am sooooo not seeing a musical with Abba music. There is no way that will last!"

Friday, July 18, 2008

Fabulous Friday (DELAYED)

Today on Fabulous Friday: TB… That’s right: TB! Tuberculosis! Consumption! Is there a more fabulous way to die?

The romanticism of such languish literature, ballet, opera and theatre has made dying of consumption something of a status marker of the elite. It was said that artists became more creative, women became more beautiful and men more virile (or was it ‘vile’?).

Look to Marguerite in Lady of the Camellias, Mimi in La Boheme, Whatsherface in La Traviata and Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge. A few bloody coughs in a frilly white handkerchief and old loves rush to your side, wealthy men buy you fur coats and the best part of all: In your final moments before death, one always has enough energy for a romantic dance or aria before collapsing in a delicately positioned heap atop a chaise lounge.

Fabulous, right?

Tuberculosis, or consumption as it was once called, is a deadly infectious disease that most commonly attacks the lungs. At least one third of the world’s population is infected with tuberculosis (that is over 2 billion people!), and one new infection takes place every second.

That is a lot of arias to be sung.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Musical Monday (DELAYED)

One of the reasons I love musicals is for the inspiration the music brings to me. I would like to share with you the top musical numbers that make me feel good, remind me who I am, follow my heart and never let go of my dreams.

Light the lights! Let's take a look at my:


10. Oh! What a Beautiful Morning (Oklahoma!) - I hate mornings. Listening to the song I am almost convinced that "Yes! Mornings are beautiful! Let's get out and enjoy this wonderful day!" This song makes number 10 because its inspiration wears off after your first cup of coffee.

9. Defying Gravity (Wicked) - So totally a song about the effects of being scorned. But like the great Chicago Fire, once burned we build ourselves up even better and stronger than before.

8. We Need a Little Christmas (Mame) - Who doesn't need a little Christmas? Does that make me a bad Jew? When feeling down, do something that makes you happy. In this case, it is celebrating Christmas early... I get the same effect by a new pair of Prada shoes.

7. Some People (Gypsy) - One of the greatest songs from one of the greatest musicals. Mama Rose reminds us that if we want something from life, then we need to get out and do it.

6. Put on Your Sunday Clothes (Hello, Dolly!) - Get dressed and get out (in that order, please).

5. Climb Ev'ry Mountain (Sound of Music) - Honestly, this song does nothing for me. I felt that I had to put it on the list or reap the wrath of Julie Andrews-ites.

4. Being Alive (Company) - I really do not want anyone to sit in my chair, but the point is to experience life and to live see the whole picture of being in love and being alive.

3. Don't Rain on My Parade (Funny Girl) - We only have one life to live so follow your dreams. If you fail, at least you tried. No regrets.

2. That Day After That (Kiss of the Spider Woman) - One of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard. It is difficult to free yourself from the grips of a depressive episode or an undesired situation. We are reminded that you have to keep faith because one day you will be free. In the words of a legend far greater than me, This too shall pass.

1. I Am What I Am (La Cage aux Folles) - In this age of mass media, fingertip marketing and idolization, it is easy for us to become engulfed in living in a mimicked version of what a public relations executive considers ideal. We need to allow ourselves to be who we are. Stand up proud and walk in confidence that we are all created exactly as we were meant to be.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Technical Difficulties... Um, Yeah, That's It!

I was otherwise predisposed this past week, so I set up a pre-dated automatic posting system for you gentle readers to keep abreast on the whatnots.

Unfortunately, it didn't work.

I would like to put the blame for this entirely on Blogger, however, this snafu is entirely of my doing. The way Blogger is, the date is entered as follows: Month/Day/Year. But you see, down here on the underside of the world, we like to mix it up and enter the date as Day/Month/Year.

By my calculations these missing posts will appear on the 7th day of the 14th month of 2008? How is this possible, you say? Well it is not.

Never fear, your lives will be able to return to normal because I will post the missing posts post haste. Just don't go postal in the meantime.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Let's Celebrate the D-Listers!!! (30/50)

I must confess, I entered the world of blogging purely for all the fame it brings... Right.

Today my blog was analysed for it's "Blogebrity Status". This apparently means something to someone somewhere.

My new D-List rating may be a shame to some, but I feel it is something to celebrate!

To honour this occasion, over the next week, let's take a look at some D-List celebrities, and why we love them, even though they are D-List celebrites.

D-LIST Kathy Griffin

Kathy Griffin has loudly and proudly anointed herself a D-List celebrity. Currently appearing on the fourth season of her reality TV show “My Life on the D-List”, Kathy Griffin puts no restrictions on what or whom she will make fun of next, this is why we love her and television executives hate her.

To date she has reportedly been banned from appearing The Ellen DeGeneres Show, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Late Night with Conan O’Brien, Late Show with David Letterman, Live with Regis & Kelly (whoop de doo) and TWICE banned from The View. In addition to the above bans, Kathy has been fired from Hannah Montana and E’s Red Carpet Awards Show because of comments she has made regarding celebrities and religion.

Let’s not forget that she also hosted gay porn awards and totally dated a bazillionaire.

From one D-Lister to another, Kathy, in these times of slick PR and scripted “unscripted interviews,” never let your brass sag.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

More Art...

La Vie, Pablo Picasso (1903)

Currently part of the collection at the Cleveland Museum of Art, has this to say about La Vie:

"In 1901, depressed over the suicide of a close friend, Picasso launched into the austere, melancholic paintings of his Blue Period (1901-1904). Only twenty-two years old and desperately poor, he restricted his palette to predominately cold colors suggestive of night, mystery, dreams, and death. His growing obsession with themes of human misery and social alienation reached its climax with La Vie (Life). The subject has been interpreted as an allegory of sacred and profane love, a reference to the cycle of life, and a symbolic representation of the life led by the modern artist.

X-radiographsof the underlayers of La Vie indicate that Picasso continued to depict himself as the artist in the painting's early stages. Before completing the composition, he repainted the standing man, replacing his facial features with those of Carles Casagemas, a close friend who had committed suicide in 1901.

X-radiographs also reveal that the seated woman in the lower center was painted over a strange scene in which a "birdman"-a human body attached to the head and wings of a bird-flies over a naked woman reclining on the ground. The meaning of this scene remains the subject of considerable speculation and debate.

Picasso's preparatory sketches for La Vie indicate that his original intention was to depict himself standing between a naked woman (his model or lover) and a canvas resting on an easel. Some sketches also include another artist who enters the studio at the far right. Picasso later replaced that man with the robed woman holding a baby. In other preparatory sketches, the naked woman beside the artist appears pregnant."

I couldn't have said it any better myself.

On a Serious Note...

The other night, I was watching the Australian version of 60 Minutes where they showcased a story about three very young kids who were killed by their own father in a murder / suicide two weeks ago. The mother of these three kids was being interviewed about her experience with the father and her memories of the children.

The woman spent a lot of time relaying to us that the 15 years she was married to the father, he had been a physically abusive husband. After his “outbursts” she would forgive him and take him back because she loved him and did want her kids to be without her father.

On several occasions the police were called, the husband was charged with assault and AVOs were set in place. After the third AVO, the husband was released from jail, rang his wife and asked her to come pick him up and bring him home.

Unfortunately, as the foolish actions of the abused has proved she went and picked him up and brought him home… All the while thinking that she would get him home and THEN take her kids and leave.

What a simple plan. Let’s go pick up the man that just beat me to a pulp and then leave him. Sounds like a winning idea to me.

She somehow eventually flees the home, without her kids. As she stated in the interview, she felt that her kids would be safe with him as he never laid a finger on them.

Until one day, the father felt the pressure that he would lose his kids and decided he could not live without them. He placed two pipes into the window of his car, jammed the doors shut, taped all the windows, placed himself and his three very young kids into the car and proceeded to fill the car with exhaust fumes.

60 Minutes attempted to make the mother out to be a victim. I am not buying it.

The mother felt so in danger of her life, that she fled the home and did not take her kids. I feel all she was thinking about was her self. In the end she got what she was looking for. Sure her kids may be dead as a result of her actions, but she is still alive.

As disgusting as her actions sound, it does showcase the warped mental state of the abused. They are the product of contrived manipulation and fear. A good friend of mine works as a counsellor in a Women’s Refuge. The abuser has placed such a deep rooted fear in the abused that often my friend will see the same women return to the facility three or four times, before they are able to leave the home situation, and in some cases this is only because of their own death.

If you are being abused, I urge of you to seek help. If you have children, I urge of you to take them with you. Please put the long-term health and safety of your children ahead of your own need to be with your abuser.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Musical Monday

Today's Musical Monday is a call for action!
I am desperately seeking a review of Angela Lansbury in the 1974 Broadway Revival of Gypsy... preferably by the New York Times.
I have searched on line for a review of any kind to now luck. If any of you gentle readers have any info that can lead to the capture of this review, you will be held in the highest regard.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Fabulous Friday

Today I had to make a very tough business decision. Due to this decision I am having trouble thinking of fabulous things for Fabulous Friday... What Would Oprah Do (WWOD)?

And where is my assistant with my martini?

Martinis are fabulous! Let's all have a martini, and wear diamonds whilst a Mae West movie is playing in the background.... in Paris.

Now that would be a Fabulous Friday!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

ham on cheese on wry

Why do I like her blog?

She's a lesbian and she is funny.

50-100-50 Challenge is a... Challenge. (29/50)

My gentle reader, you may remember back to the time when I agreed to partake in the 50-100-50 challenge. This meant that I needed to write 50 100 word posts in 50 days. That was a nearly impossible task so I tweeked the rules a bit. to a 50 - 50 challenge (that's 50 posts in 50 days). According to guidelines I set for myself, I should have surpassed the 50 post mark about two weeks ago.

Instead I am still slogging out post #29. At this rate, I should complete the 50-50 challenge sometime around Christmas.

Despite this humiliating experience, My intention of starting the 50-50 challenge was to get in the habit of actually updating my blog more than once a month. In this light, my mission has been accomplished!

My blog has turned from a long forgotten chore into an enjoyable task. Some days when I sit down to write a post little mice and birds come into the room and start to sing and make me a lovely ball gown.... no, honest!

Of course those little bitch mice can never get my measurements correct.