Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I am the Modern (and male) Aphrodite

My friend just spoke of Aphrodite, the Greek Goddess of Love & Fertility (How's that for a business card?). She was born of the sea and everywhere she walks turns into spring and all beings begin to make love.

So I figure that I am a male version of Aphrodite. I am a water sign (Pisces) so metaphorically I was born of the sea. I was also born on the first day of Spring in America... The birth of spring is in my presence. Also, for some unexplainable reason, whomever I am around is overcome with a strong desire to make love.

But the fact of the matter is that most of the time I just couldn't be bothered. I suppose I was the world's biggest tease... I wonder if they make a coffee mug for that one?

In the past, the idea was more alluring than the actual act... or at least the act in it's entirety. It is funny if you think about it, but the act of wooing is all about trying to find out what a person looks like naked and erect, imagining them naked and erect, and touching their naked and erect body. It's hot and turn-on.

Until of course, I unwrapped the paper and saw what those cleverly chosen articles of clothing were hiding! The biggest disappointment in all, was that this person does not have a ten incher like I imagined... well they have once or twice, but then it always smelled awful or went soft. Such is life I suppose.

Nowadays, I do love to have sex with my partner. It is because I so much love him and the package underneath that I can't wait to unwrap him and play like a kid on Christmas morning... He drives me "wild with desire" (and if you guess where I stole (and altered) that phrase from, you'll get a free doughnut*).
* at some point in time, when the Dunkin Donut vouchers come out and I purchase a dozen and you happen to be in my neighbourhood at the same time

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