Friday, June 12, 2009

DEAR __________________,

Dear Everyone,

It has been a very long time since we last got together like this. I just bought a few bottles of peach vodka from the liquor wholesalers on the first floor of my office building. Can interest you in peach martini?

Dear JLO,

Yes, living the Aussie life down here. With the exception that I have never worn a hat with corks hanging off the brim and three drag queens driving a lavender bus have never knocked on my door.

Other than that, red soil? Check. Snakes? Check. Cockatoos? Check. Kangaroos? Check. Bottle of shiraz? Double check.

You know what would make it a true Aussie life? If you travelled down under and gave a performance of your 80s dance repertoire to the music of Men at Work!!!!!!!!

Dear Grandma J,

First let me say that I have heard you loud and clear regaring the comment font size being very very very small. I have never known how to fix the problem before but I have taken a quick internet course of CSS coding and went to the comment template and changed to a larger font... Just for you!

I am glad to see that you are enjoying your new unit! The landscaping is wonderful. Very minimalist.

More pressing are you questions about kangaroos. First I need to make a group announcement here. Pardon me. >>>>

Dear All,

I hate to interrupt your peach martinis, however I feel it is my duty to confess that my post on Mr and Mrs Rufus (Red Kangaroo) appearing nightly in my front paddocks was a complete lie.

I rang the very friendly folks at Perth Hills National Parks Visitors Centre who informed me that the nightly visitors are actually Western Grey Kangaroos.

Red Kangaroos are further north and inland where is it more arid.

You may now continue you martinis and dancing The Worm.


So Grandma J, kangaroos are more shy in temperament and tend to bounce away if they sense a human presence. There are a few places around town that you can go to feed and pet tame kangaroos. I do have a picture of myself snuggling a kangaroo many years ago. I will find it and post it for you.

The different types of roos don't interbreed. I thought I could make that statement into a longer paragraph, but nope. I think that says it all.

I did not know that the school mascot is Killeen, TX is a kangaroo. Does he wear a pair of boxing gloves?

Dear Mr Show,

I think that is so cool you learned how to speak Navajo and even your own family didn't know... or did they?

Did you know that I can speak Cherokee?

Actually, I can only say the number '6'.

You did mention about the increased font size, I don't believe you have ever mentioned it before. It must be something new since you turned 40?

Dear Mom #1,

I sincerely hope that you are alright after that tree jumped out in front of your truck. How very inconsiderate of it.

There is a Roo Repellent, it is called a shotgun.

I would never use such repellent, of course. The kangaroo are not a nuisance to me and I encourage them to come around more often... and bring their friends (as long as their friend are not The Adders).

In Hillary Clinton's autobiography, she mentions that when her and Bill made a visit to a high ranking politician or the Governor General (the Queen's representative) in Australia, they were looking over his land and the HRP and/or GG made a comment to her that they heard Bill was allergic to kangaroos and they did their best to get rid of them all for the visit.

Dear Pumpkin Delight,

I cannot wait until you make your confession and tell us the truth. I was hoping that one of your truths or lies was that you were pregnant.

Roos over Adders any day!

Dear Queen of Phrump,

You are my inspiration to want to become a better writer.

I thought jackrabbits were only myth!

BTW, I was watching one of those Las Vegas cop shows and they featured your very own kingdom. Apparently you have quite a few murderous Trekkies as your neighbours.

Can I get anyone else another martini? Who was supposed to bring the food?


XX Hula Hank

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