BUT WAIT... THERE'S MORE!

There are lots of other attractions around Niagara Falls to keep you occupied and dry.

For instance there is Hershey World!

And Mounties:

Large thermometers:



Giant plates:



And giantic wooden moose testicles:

DROWNING IN NIAGARA FALLS

How can you go to Niagara Falls and not go on the Maid of the Mist?

Part of the whole Maid of the Mist experience is wearing a beautiful blue plastic rain poncho, obviously designed by Dolce & Gabbana.

Although it is popular for people to ask, "Did you go on the boat that goes under the falls?" the boat does not actually go under the falls.

It does come pretty damn close.

Also lots of water is sprayed on your face, it was like being back at Universal Studios!

Note: THAT shirt was with me every step of the way!

AND IT CONTINUES.. IN NIAGARA FALLS

It had recently come to my attention that I never actually finished The World's Longest Slide Show on my not so recent trip back to the U.S.

I know what you are thinking. "Who told?" Am I right?

Just sit back enjoy a nice cocktail and nod your head.

We have been in Cleveland over a week, and it was getting well due for a little divertisment. So we all piled into a tiny little Chrysler 300 and headed off to Canada for a few days.

After a 3 or 4 hour drive along Lake Erie through Pennsylvania & New York, we were finally welcomed to Canada.

Isn't it lovely??

So much has changed about the Falls. First of all, there is now a casino, and high rise hotels and high class shopping malls and 4 star restaurants. This is a shame because it took away from the natural wonder of the reason people even come here, The Falls!

After we checked into our decidedly not 4-star hotel all of layered on our warm clothes and walked down the Falls to catch the evening light display.

Although the lighting is a bit low tech, it is a spectacular sight. Still, would it hurt to upgrade the light show into the 21st century and start doing image projections?

Just hanging around the edge of the falls, we had a good time and managed to take some fantastic shots of ourselves.


This is my mom and uncle.




The boys.

ROADTRIP... CLEVELAND METROPARKS PT 2

I am sure everyone who grew up where I did remembers this viaduct. How many bodies were found washed up stream, drowned by attempting to swim in this section of the fast moving Tinkers Creek? I remember a few.

Which is what made this tunnel so fascinating.

You see, not because it was an old tunnel, but the thrill at trying to walk through it without dying!

Which Stuart and I managed to do, at least part of the way until the water was too high on the other end. Plus it smelled a bit like feces in there.

As I stood and looked out onto the creek and the changing autumnal leaves, for that moment in time I was proud of where I was from and grateful to share its beauty.

So many memories came rushing back, like when my brother and I tried to white water raft down this creek in a half deflated raft. Do you remember that bro?

Riding my bike to the candy store downtown, getting a nickel grab bag and then coming down here to eat it.

The toilet block up top that was nothing but a group toilet over a big hole in the ground. The trick was to not look down or breath.

My grandpa used to bring us here a lot as well. I believe he is the one who first took me into the tunnel.

For me, this is a serenity spot.... SERENITY NOW!!

I dare you to look at these next photos and not feel some sense of calm:

ROADTRIP... CLEVELAND METROPARKS

Growing up where I did, I was lucky to have lived only a short distance from the most beautiful branch of the Cleveland Metroparks. On summer break, my brother and I used to ride our bikes down here and hang out in the woods.

Later on, in high school a certain section of the Metroparks was where everyone partied, and by partied I mean sit around a get drunk. Of course to get to this section you had to climb in the dark down steep hills and narrow paths, that is if you made it past the cops first.

Now this old party section has become the latest edition of the Metroparks to get a makeover compelete with a proper pathway and signs which tell you all about the area's gristmill history.

Gone is the graffitti, beer cans and stench of teenage debauchery... you know, the good old days.

ROADTRIP... THANKSOWEENIE ROAST

I left off with the big combo day of the early Thanksgiving/early Halloween and Weenie Roast.

My brother knew of a corn maze and pumpkin patch where we could pick up a few cheap pumpkins to carve.

Despite this, the corn maze was, er, aMAZEing. The farmer had carved a maze out of his corn fields which from the air appeared as a barn with a chicken out front next to a windmill and let's not forget a big sun!

The day we went, the maze was closed but as we arrived the farmer was coming down on his tractor and my brother dropped the fact that we were out from Australia which convinced the farmer into opening the maze just for us (well that, and 80 bucks)... and this included a tractor ride to the entrance.






Nothing says "Fall" more than walking around lost through mud and sky high stalks of corn. My oldest sister thought it would be a great a idea to pluck the corn kernels and leave them as a trail so we knew where we had been. This is a wonderful idea if you are Hansel and Gretel, however in a public corn maze,several hundred people had the same idea and the paths were paved with bits of corn.

My sister was particularly fond of these two:

This is the mother load we came home with!

Guess how much these trunkload of pumpkins cost? Nope, you are wrong. All that only cost $10, child included!!

The best part was carving them into jack-o-lanterns. This was Stuart and Blane's first time ever carving a pumpkin. We scooped out the seeds and I roasted them in two different flavours, 1. Ranch and 2. Garlic and Chilli.


Guess which jack-o-lantern I carved.


PS - I don't have any photos of the weenie roast that followed, It was way too dark and after the box of old liquor was brought out nobody wanted any proof of what actually happened on the night.

ROADTRIP... A FAMILY PORTRAIT PART TWO

As my sister said, this is exactly how she likes her men... on their knees.

The above photo is one of my favourites. I think it is such a beautiful shot of my bro's family. Do I sound all butch saying "bro"?

The brothers.

It is all fun and games until someone puts their hand in someone else's sweaty arm pit. We must have been in to holding people up that day...

My sister brought over a few bottles of some amish wine called Frost Fire or Fire Frost or None of the Above. I don't remember, I didn't even know the amish could drink. Anyway the wine is sickly sweet and gives you a hangover after about one sip. Which is why I had to immediately switch to manhattans.

Actually that is a funny story. You remember how I told you that my mother lives about 78 hours drive from the nearest store?

Well, after we ran out of wine, my mother brings a big box up from the basement. It was filled with Bourbon, Sweet vermouth, Vodka, Bitters, half empty wine bottles and almost empty bottles of tequila and margarita mix. She said that she saved it from the last time I came out... 6 years ago!!!

Well desperate times call for desperate measures. There is nothing left in the box.

ROADTRIP... A FAMILY PORTRAIT

For those of you who are still paying attention... Yes, I am still talking about my fabulous four week road trip across the US that happened one million years ago!

We last left off in Cleveland at the Gospel Brunch.

Later on in the week, the whole family got together again for a major combo event of an early Thanksgiving dinner, pumpkin carving and a weenie roast. Before the festivities began we took a few minutes to grab some family shots.

From Left: My oldest sister , my other sister , Myself and my big bro.

My sister's boyfriend and my oldest sister (exactly what is she reaching for??), the figure looming behind my oldest sister is my nephew, then my other sister, the son and my mom. The big flamer behind my mom is me, next to my brother is continued with his fiance-to-be and her son.

The only new face in this one is Stuart... Oh and now you can actually see my nephew's face. Something is happening off to the left (or is the right?) but only my sister and I can see it. Must be dead people!

This photo was taken directly facing the sun so that there would not be any shadows... as you can see it so totally worked!!!

CLEVELAND... GOSPEL BRUNCH

The Sunday after we arrived in Cleveland, we all friends and family piled into a car and went to the weekly Gospel Brunch at the House of Blues.

We were suffering from severe sinusitus due to the drastic downward change of weather traveling from Las Vegas to Cleveland, nothing a good southern food buffet and a few mimosas wouldn't cure!

Everyone gorged on cornbread, chicken and waffles, macaroni and cheese and grits.

On stage our hostess brought down the house with her gospel style and loving ways. At one point we had to turn to a neighbour we did not know and say "Neighbour, I love you and there is nothing you can do about it!"

Stuart was hand picked to go up on stage and do a dance. I did not capture any photos of him getting down, but one of my friends did. They are hilarious! Unfortunately I have not been able to get copies of those photos yet.

It also happened to be around the time of my brother's fiance-to-be and her son's birthday, so they even got up on stage and we all (as the House of Blues choir) sang "Happy Birthday" to them and a few other people who really don't matter.

I tried and I tried bu our hostess did not stay in one spot long enough to get a clear shot.



So earlier I mentioned the food. It was actually surprisingly good considering the fact that it was the House of Blues and it was a buffet. However I especially recommend the cornbread. It has reminded me of my love of spoonbread, which I am now dying to make.

So if anyone has a good recipe, please share with the rest of the class!